Write Thesis Fast

This letter was first written by a graduate student in Europe in 1954 and has traveled around the world at least 16 times. At first I wouldn't believe that it would work, but after trying it, I am now a believer in its mystical and magical power.

This letter was received by a graduate student in Chicago, IL in 1973 and within two weeks, he had completed a 5600 page doctoral dissertation and began a career which lead to a Nobel Prize. A few years later, another graduate student received this letter and sent it to 5 of her friends, and she too completed a 3100 page paper which is continues to grow to this day!

Simply write five pages of text on the given subjects for each person on this list. Than place your name in slot #1 and move everyone else's name down one space. Send this letter to ten of your colleagues, and within a month, you too will have a thesis or disertation which your advisor can choke on if he or she doesn't go blind or break his or her back first.

1. Bernard T. Donovan, M.S. student in biochemistry
   EPR spectroscopy of crud from my refrigerator

2. James C. Messier, PhD. student in political science
   The Cuban Missile Crisis: What if Nixon were president?

3. Frances K. Allen, M.A. student in music theory
   Development of polyphonic forms from Gregorian Chant

4. Penny S. Jordan, PhD student in computer science
   Is Windows 95 merely Mac 84?

5. Thomas J. Quinn, MBA student
   Bears and Bulls in the stock market, but what about Sox and Cubs?

The last person who received this letter and did not respond was tormented by receiving 100-level teaching assignments until he was 40 years old. Today he works as a clerk for the Little-Plastic-Pizza-Table Museum in Cleveland, OH, making minimum wage and regretting his terrible decision not to perpetuate this letter.

last update: 11 May 1999